Friday, October 5, 2007

Unhappy with myself

I've been very aware of my height lately. I notice that everyone needs my help to reach stuff and I'm often asked how tall I am. It really makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm so much taller than an average height. I don't feel like a very big person on the inside and people don't seem to realize that I might be sensitive about that sort of thing. You don't ask a short person how tall they are or fat person how much they weigh.

Last week at work I was brought to tears when I was interupted on my break twice to help someone reach something. I ended up staying in the bathroom for most of my break so that no one would know.

Today at work we had a guy from one of the coast bakeries come up to see how we do things in Kelowna. He's taller than I am by a couple inches. He might be 6'6". After seeing him today wearing the same 'not quite long enough' clothing and with the same skinny build I have I realized how freakishly tall I must look too.

I can totally understand how Sydney and I didn't work out. I don't find tall people attractive either. It's just gross, and this is coming from a tall person. The reason I often feel lanky and gangly is because I am and it shows. I always wear loose fitting bulky clothes just to try and conceal how tall and disproportionate I am. I now understand how people can say I'm a good looking guy, but have no real interest in me. Very few people would want to be with someone tall.

And of course it doesn't help that there is nothing I can do about it. This is what real upsets me. If you're short you can wear boots or heels to gain a little extra height. When you're tall what do you do? Go barefoot? It's the same thing with having red hair. If you don't have red hair you can colour your hair red. In fact you can make it any colour you want. But when you have red hair and freckles and a pale complection you're not fooling anyone if you change something.

I'm stuck with who I am and I don't like it. In fact it's really upsetting me and I don't know how to feel better. Being tall sucks!

1 comment:

JMnP1234 said...

I am a short person and I disagree your post. It kind of upset me. You're saying short people can wear heels, well than you can wear flats. What does a person who is 4'11 look like wearing 5 inche heels trust me they're not blending in either. And you can't think heel are that easy to walk in. Plenty of people have asked me my height, yes it is annoying and among other things, but I deal with it. You can't always change yourself and you diffinitely can't change other people so you should just have confidence in yourself.......... As short as I am I actually like tall guys.