I'm really having a bad time here over the last 24 hours. I found out Sydney is nearly over me and that it really was my fault for not kindling her passion towards me. This is really hard to deal with.
However I'm just realising now that if my family wasn't my family I wouldn't like them. With the exception of my mum I don't like people like my dad or sister. My dad is an insensitive condescending jerk, and my sister is overly cute and frustrating due to her lack of opinion and stupid girl antics. I really don't like living here. I really miss my surrogate Ontario family more with each passing day. They really were the family I have always wanted to have.
I'm really unhappy and alone and sad. I can't believe things have come to this because my life is a mess right now. Everything I wanted I've lost and everything I have left has long been overshadowed and exposed as fundamentaly different from the person I am. I'm just at a loss. All I can do is work and save money. I wish I could deal with my emotions.
I'll post some picture of my new bike tomorrow when I feel up to it.